Tacenda

I choose to love you in silence,
for in silence I find no rejection.

I choose to love you in loneliness,
for in loneliness no one owns you but me.

I choose to adore you from distance,
for distance will shield me from pain.

I choose to kiss you in the wind,
for the wind is gentler than my lips.

I choose to hold you in my dreams,
for in my dreams you have no end.




One of the biggest mistakes you could make is to cause 
the woman who love you to feel like she can't talk to you. 

Little Wonders



"For me, you like that's Chrysant.. Growing in the middle of this wilderness world, but you became the beautiful one.."
- July 02, 2014

Zero Tolerance

She lays down her head. Sound ticking clock dance in and out her ears. So much to say but no words to convey. The loneliness building with each passing day. But she's getting used to it. She's never shocked when people let her down nowadays. She just hates the fact that she puts herself in a position to be let down in the first place. Just because she doesn't fight back doesn't mean she is weak. It means she's mature enough that anger won't solve anything. When she shuts her mouth and turns to walk away, it doesn't mean you've won. It simply means your stupidity isn't worth any more of her time.

So, who was stupid? 
Her? You said it was her.
You screamed in her face that she was stupid.
How come? Oh she knows, because you're fucking perfect. Illusion.
Stop yelling at her. 
Stop pushing her.
Remove your hand from her body. Do not ever touch her.
Stop hitting her.
Stop bragging. Turning her positivity into negativity.
Just because you are pitiful, you have no idea to let her down.
Because she's so damn awesome, don't you think?
Stop pointing your finger on her face.
Stop fighting her.
God damn it. Insolent, that was she supposed to be in your eyes.
What she's doing right now it's just what she has to do as a human.
Those are God said so. A real human, aren't you?
She's being a real human with conscience in order to deserve a good life.
She doesn't work for good deeds to impress you, not even anyone.
But you are blind. You're blinded by rage.
You're fooled by your mind. Literally, your impure mind.
It's okay, she's fine. Who do you think you are?


Picture taken here


Don't worry, she doesn't hate you. She's just disappointed you turned into everything you said you'd never be. She doesn't worry anything. Because she believes there comes a day when she gets fed up and she just walks away from all the drama and the people who create it. She still has a long way to go, but she's already so far from where she used to be and she keeps walking. Through clouds and sunshine, the best way to heal a broken heart is to give God all pieces. And she did it.

The Reflection

"It's never easy for a good woman to walk away;
especially after she's invested so much of herself into making it work.
Just know, that by the time she finally decides to leave,
she's given you countless chances and debated the idea,
over and over in her head, at least 1000 times.
She's exhausted; she's frustrated and totally heartbroken
to have to walk away from a man who,
deep down inside,
she still loves
and is still willing to fight for."

Reflections Of A Man by Mr. Amari Soul



 
She started 2015 with pain in her heart & finished 2015 with ungraceful soul and tears in her eyes. All she wanted was to live in peace. But she, can she stop loving him? Stopping this unrequited love & living in peace for the rest of her life. She is so much loving him. No one could describe how much she loves that man. She loves him with all her heart & soul. She feels like the day she stops loving him is the day her heart stops beating.

But that man... doesn't love her as better as he did, neither as much as she does.

She can't stop wanting him. It's pointless to say, so she'll just live her life in dreams of yesterday. Ask her why she keeps on loving a man when it's clear that he doesn't feel the same way for her. The problem is that as much as she can't force him to love her, she can't force herself to stop loving him. She can't stop loving him no matter how much it hurts, because losing him would be so much worse than any pain he could ever cause her.

What happened to her?
She's desperate.
She's broken.
She's tired.