The Dark Gaze

Lately, I often ran out of patience and lost my temper. I had no idea why, but in simple analysis, may I said that I was no longer tolerant in people's attitude which spark my inconvenience caused? Regardless people's attitude, maybe it just because I was too tired about everything. Not literally in every single things, but let's say about work and all the responsibilities that follow. I pay my own bill. I ensure my own happiness, that's why I work harder than anyone. Not only harder, but also smarter. Being as smart as I could even I don't think so I get through. I don't have anything but brain. Heart? I might be heartless recently.

Sometimes it's hard for me to control my mood. My mood just like a roller coaster. It's going up and down fast, firm and tight. I'm happy and I'm sad. But I rarely cried again. Crying is boring. It doesn't solve any problems. It would make me calmer but it happened provisionally, so I no longer need to cry. Let it hurt, let it bleed. Let it heal, let it go. Always impossible to make all the people love you and always being nice to you, am I right? You need to be downed in order to raise higher and stronger. And so do I. I have let people go for something they wanted the most. If I was the one they respect yet consider precious, I would no need to demand. Soon or later they will come to me by itself. Do not overthinking, let the universe conspire.




Above all, I never forget how far I've come. Everything I have gotten through. All the times I have pushed on even when I felt like I couldn't. All the mornings I got out of bed no matter how hard it was. All the times I wanted to give up but I got through another day. Never forget how much strength I have learned and developed.

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