Here I am

Maybe right now my journey is all about me.
Maybe this is the season I am being challenged to be my own savior,
to be my own safe place.
Maybe right now I am being reminded,
that the people who walked away were only ever leading me back to myself,
were only ever leading me here.
And here, I am okay on my own.
Here, I am rebuilding.
Here, I am adapting, and mending,
and reclaiming all of the pieces I let them walk away with.
Here, I am being kinder my soul,
I am giving myself the same kind of love I have always given to others.
Here, I am not rushing my heart,
I am not depending on another human being to fix it.
Instead, here, I am doing that on my own.
Here, I am healing.

I have endured, I have been broken, I have known hardship, I have lost myself.
But here I stand, still moving forward, growing stronger every single day.


Wohoo! I'm 31 right now.
No more insecurity like I felt when I was 29 turned to 30.
Yes I feel older, but now I'm overwhelmed with blessings.
31 years old with lots of experiences.
Experiences that might not belong to most people at my age.
The upside down life, emotional rollercoaster.
But at the end, everything happened better than I thought.
It's okay if I fall down and lose my spark.
Just make sure that when I get back up,
I rise as the whole damn fire.

All the tears had been paid off.
I live a life I've prayed before.
Not kinda perfect life according to most people.
But for me, my life is beautiful.
As perfect as I need.
Even when I feel broken, God reminds me that I'm chosen.
And now I know, God doesn't choose those who are fit.
He outfits those whom He chooses.
So why should I worry?
He has guaranteed my life an all the things that will happen.
Whatever will be, I will always be okay.
There's no need to rush.
If something is meant to be, it will happen.
In the right time, with the right person, for the best reason.

I'm nor single neither taken.
I'm building an empire, finding myself,
healing myself, loving myself,
being passionate, getting fit,
growing friendship, meeting new people,
and making memories.
That's relationship status of 31-year-old me.